Former Adversaries Talk About Bridging the Gap for Democracy

Political discourse is more confrontational than ever, dividing friends and families and disrupting lifelong relationships. However, two nationally recognized figures have forged a common ground of civility, respect — and ultimately friendship — to prove that respectful dialogue has the power to bridge those divides.

Former Republican congressman from Illinois Joe Walsh and gun safety activist Fred Guttenberg have turned those conversations into a successful speaking tour, “Two Dads Defending Democracy: Bridging the Gap During Divisive Times,” which stopped by the MART Auditorium on the Stony Brook Medicine campus October 22. A follow-up discussion called “Democracy and Getting Out the Vote” took place in the Humanities building on West Campus the following day.

The pair shared their thoughts on engaging in civil and healthy discussions in service of meaningful legislative reform. The MART talk, sponsored by the Program in Public Health at Stony Brook Medicine, was moderated by Charles Robbins, professor in the School of Social Welfare.

Walsh is an outspoken gun rights advocate; Guttenberg was thrust into the role of gun safety activist after his 14-year-old daughter Jaime was killed in the 2018 Parkland school shooting. For two years, the two men publicly and rancorously fought and argued on social media and television. But that changed three years ago when they took their conversations offline and finally spoke in person, and the two eventually became friends despite their opposing beliefs.

“After my daughter was killed, I made a vow to break the gun lobby, and that meant going after people like Joe Walsh,” said Guttenberg. “For two years he and I went at it. I considered him to not care about gun violence and the people affected by it, I considered him to not care about the value of my daughter’s life, and I considered him to be evil. He considered me to be somebody that wanted to take his guns and attack his belief in the Second Amendment, which he assumed I had no regard for.” 

That changed when Walsh made an unexpected Twitter post expressing respect for Guttenberg’s commitment to his cause. “I didn’t see it coming,” said Guttenberg. “And from that moment, we went back and forth on Twitter being nicer to each other.” 

After a phone conversation and then a dinner, a genuine friendship grew, based on tolerance and discussion. 

“I found he’s just another dad like me, with people he loves,” said Guttenberg. “It got us to a place where we got to know one another, and most importantly, not just not speaking, but listening to one another. It put us on a new footing that we think is important for America to see now. Because we are a divided country and we have to learn how to talk to one another.”

“I was a really divisive political figure, one of the best,” said Walsh. “One day I saw what was happening and I stopped wanting to be that way. Fred was one of the few people who said ‘I’ll talk to you. I’ll listen to you.’ So we took our conversation private, and the rest is history.”

The pair have been bringing their message to campuses since February; Stony Brook was the last stop before the election. Despite the different opinions that Walsh and Guttenberg often have, they both adamantly agree about the need to defend democracy, and both freely express their support of Kamala Harris and the importance of voting in November.

Guttenberg spoke of how young people think they’re going to change the way things are done. “They’re not so worried about democracy,” he said. “Part of that is they’ve grown up in an era where they’ve seen the adults currently serving just behave badly, to be quite honest. But I want young people to understand the connection between what they are seeing and voting participation in this country. When more of us vote, the better that representation will be.” 

Guttenberg noted that under President Joe Biden, the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act was passed; a new director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives was appointed; and the first White House Office of Gun Violence Prevention was established.

“Don’t learn what it is to lose what you love the most,” said Guttenberg. “And don’t wait until one day when you have to say ‘could I have done more?’ All I’m asking all of you to do is vote.”

Walsh called the current environment “scary, because it’s not just that we believe the people who disagree with us are wrong, we’ve begun to question the motives of the people we disagree with.”

“But I’ll say this as a guy who voted for Trump in 2016; Donald Trump did not divide this country. He’s the ugly product of our divide. So when Trump says the people who don’t vote for him are ‘the enemy within,’ a lot of Americans actually believe that.” 

In the talk that took place in the Humanities building the following day, sponsored in collaboration with the Humanities Institute, Walsh addressed the question of a Stony Brook student who described democracy as ‘a farce,’ and expressed hopelessness in changing the status quo.  

“I disagree fundamentally with that,” he said. “There are institutional problems, but even if you really believe democracy is a farce, then what? You’ve still got two options. If you believe our democracy is that messed up, you can either decide to help change it and help reform what you see as bad and detrimental to our democracy, or you can choose to just check out and not vote. That’s your choice, but the only power you have is to try to change the problems you just mentioned.”

“I think it’s critically important that we actually demonstrate how people who don’t agree on everything can have civil conversation and educate each other,” said Robbins. “I think that’s something that we have to really instill in our students and in the whole community.” 

“It’s important to give a little sunlight to things that the Humanities Institute is doing,” said Carl Lejuez, executive vice president and provost at Stony Brook. “We have a responsibility to be part of developing this liberal arts set of values, responsibilities and skills that our students are so well-known for having. This is one of the ways that we do that, and part of that is disagreement.”

– Robert Emproto